Spring?

Okay, enough is enough with the fuckin' snow. I've had it! When is it ever gonna be Spring? Does this thing actually exist? Or, is it just another Hallmark moment you have to buy another frickin' card for? Spring, you know the thing that is supposed to start after winter's chill is done for another year? Those of us that are in the "deep freeze" would love to know when that day is?

I want to see muli-colors on the ground and in the trees. The color of white, yellow in the snow, brown, and or black is driving this Southerner out of his cotton pickin' mind! (Pardon the pun Vanessa! No offense, okay? LOL)

I mean really, is it too much to ask for just a couple of days in the 50's to give us a taste of what, maybe Australia is going thru right this very second? (Hold the fires!) Instead, we get our weather sent to us via the Polar Ice Caps!

We want an end to this dreaded freeze that when you walk out your front door, instantly your moustache, for those of us who can grow 1, freezes stiff on your face like what Viagra does to your pecker. I mean come on, this is ridiculous. Its been cold ever since, what, Halloween? That was 4 months ago. I remember in school when we studied the seasons of the year, that each season lasted 3 months. Now we're going on 5 this winter? Give us a break!

Last spring was so wonderful. It was my 1st one here. It was almost like someone flipping a switch. Jasmine swears that we don't have a spring. But, I vaguely remember 1 happening. I might be a stoner, but get real! The trees started budding, stalks of green came bursting up thru the ground that led to an array of colorful things attached to them. I mean, it was still cool. You couldn't rip of your shirts and dive into Lake Michigan. Who wants to anyway? YUK! But it was there, I know it was.

But, for now, we're stuck in frozen hell somewhere in between frost bite, and shivering to death. My teeth still chatter when I'm awakened in the middle of the night when nature calls. I have to put on a robe, dash to the bathroom and by the time every thing's done, in the cold, I'm wide awake with nothing to do. Many a night, I would just lay in bed and then after an hour or so, say, 'Fuck it!,' and come out here in the living room and fire up my computer, trying to get warmth from the hard drive. LOL

I want to see kites in the air, like I wrote about before. Dogs barking, children playing "Tag." The drums beating high above the laughter of adults playing in the water at the beach. The sight of sun worshipers, bicycles whooshing past you, roller bladers, animals doing what comes naturally in the spring. I want to do that, too! People down at the Lake looking for that special stone in the water.

Is all of the above just too much to ask for? Or am I just pissing in the wind, or out the back window of a station wagon? Someone's gonna get wet, and I'm afraid that someone is gonna be me. Is there something we can due to usher in what we all want? Please Goddess, hear our cries! SEND US SPRING!

Affectionately,
Sir Bear of Chicago