CRAP! FALL IS HERE!

Well, you heard it here 1st. Fall is officially here. Two days ago, we were experiencing 80 degree weather. Then in about 12 hours, a huge thunderstorm, that came out of nowhere, and BOOM, violent thunder, lightning, and a tornado later, here we are, in the middle of fall.

Leaves are turning, orange, red, crimson, and yellow, falling peacefully down off saddened trees. collecting in perfect little circles of color, appearing at their trunks. Oh fall! As I said earlier, I have wrapped up summer so tight in my body, just holding on to it to keep me warm when the bitter, cold wind starts to blow!

Fall. Time for grey clouds, cold wind, plants that littered countless back porches this past spring and summer, to be brought in against the onslaught of temperatures dropping. And the nasty little squirrels that have been going nuttz. Pardon the pun. By their activity, you know a bad winter is just around the corner. But, I digress...

Fall is a magically time for smells of pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg, spice, cakes, pies, cookies, and candles. A time for family and friends. Gatherings, children, young and old. The tinkling sound of punch glasses being raised in a toast. Laughter. Music. Sweaters, hoodies, leather, mittens, gloves, scarves, trench coats.

All the above images are put into your mind for, when you think, you've just about had enough, read this again and maybe you will feel the the warmth in the spirit, in which it was written!

Peace and Blessed Be!

Bear

Why?

Why does summer have to end?

In all its spectacular color, why does fall have to begin?

Why do we, as adults, see Fall leaves, piled on the ground, revert to being a kid, and kick them up in the air as high as we can? Or, am I the only one that does that? LOL

Why do we go on when we know one day it will all end?

Why is that you die and are sent to wonderful, pain free, love filled existence, then are sent back home where pain abounds?

Why do they say that lightning never strikes twice in the same place, when it does?

Why do we love, just to get our hearts broken?

Why do we reach out to help others, only to have people question the method we used to reach out?

Why do we adopt pets knowing that we will probably out live them, and turn around and do it all over again?

It's very humid out today, but there is definitely a chill in the air. Makes me feel a little bummed out, knowing what is around the corner. Back home, in Dallas, there still experiencing 90 degree plus temps with unbearable, every pun intended, humidity. Shirt soaking weather. And, you wonder why do people still live there?

I was watching the squirrels in our neighborhood for the last couple of days. I've learned to judge how bad the winter is going to be by their activity. The squirrels are going crazy!!! All my plants, but one, have been moved in doors. The last will find a home in Ron's room when I get back this afternoon. There is so much dirt on my back porch from those little bastards, digging in all my potted plants, throwing one, that I had just planted, three floors down. It didn't commit suicide, it was pure murder! Why would a squirrel want to harm one of my plants???

When tears are made from you own body, why do they burn when you cry?

Why does the sunrise look different from sunset?

Just a lot of random unanswered questions that run thru my mind on a daily basis, that I pray made you stop and think. Most people would say I'm crazy. Why?

Great Lakes Leather Sir/boy and the End Of Summer

Yes, you guessed it. I won Great Lakes Leather Sir 2010.

My speech blew the judges and crowd away. My fantasy, I was told was the most violent and the most erotic, stated 1 judge, he has ever seen before. Jock was, well, it was there. And when the winner was announced, I didn't hear it. I looked at the other 2 contestants, with applause roaring, and they were clapping looking at me. Everyone was clapping looking at me. I WON!!! I can't fucking believe it.

I had a great weekend. And, not just because I won, either. I met a lot of very nice people. A lot of them will travel thru my life with me. Others are just memories of a wonderful weekend. Ron bought me my 1st flogger. I have yet to put it to use.

Okay, with that news out of the way, here's what's going on today...

I noticed a couple of days ago, that the leaves are starting to turn and I also saw some fall to the ground from their branches. My instant reaction was FUCK, WINTER'S COMING!!!ARG!!! The days are getting shorter. We never really had a summer. So, I've been creating my days around the beach. The more sun I get, the more tan I stay thru the winter's war!

The place that I volunteer at, Test Positive Aware Network, has asked me to be on the Board of Directors. Bill, aka "The Chicken Lady," pulled me into his office with the news. I was overwhelmed. My eyes started burning as tears rolled down my face. I love this place and I love what I'm allowed to do. I love giving HIV tests with happy endings. I haven't given a positive test in months. Now that I said something, you know damn well that I'll give one.

The new Executive Director, Bruce, brings his dog, Ema, with him to work. She's great fun. I roll in the floor with her, and chase her thru the building. I usually bring her dog treats when I come to work, but I forgot today and she was so pissed. She bit me. Not hard, but none the less, she struck like a python. I told her I would bring double her order tomorrow. Didn't make her feel bad about biting me, but it did seem to appease her.

So that is my summer. I win Illinois Leather Sir 2009 in late February. Great Lakes Leather Sir 2010, in August, and now I'm sitting on the Board of an expanding HIV facility.

And here again, sad but true, its the 18th of September. Fall is just the next door down the hall. Very soon that door will open. No Jasmine in the air. Soon to be replaced by the scent of cinnamon and nutmeg. Turkey, pumpkin pies. Soups and chicken and dumplings. Don't get me wrong, I love those smells. It just means my wonderful summer is over. The laughter, skate boarders, kites so high up, they nearly reach the gods. Drums beating by the Lake. Music, bonfires, movies in the park. Artists of the Wall. Friends. Waves crashing on the shore, rearranging the rocks that reside there. These are the things that "center" me.

So, I will take these feelings of my summer, wrap them tightly up inside me, to keep me warm thru the dreaded cold. Until once again, when I can open up and release the butterfly that is spring.