Yes, Vanessa's out of the hospital. We're all grateful for that. As a voyeur of life, I sit back and watch her true friends kick into gear. It was absolutely, and still is, amazing.
A friend, in my way of thinking, enters your life for a season. Maybe 1 season, two, or 100. It just depends on how long it takes for the lesson to be learned.
Yesterday, I said good-bye to 1 of my friends. It nearly broke my heart. Upon leaving, he gave me his prize possession. A book. Not just a book, but a book entitled, 'The Prophet.' In one of its chapters, it talks about Friendship. He told me to read it when I got home. He had marked the page for me. I want to quote from this book...
'And a youth said, Speak to us of Friendship. And he answered, saying: Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And, he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind and you fear not the "nay" in your own mind, nor do you withhold the "ay."
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth;
and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know about its flood also,
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and its refreshment.'
Not only did I learn something, from this, about frienships, but relationships as well. I just wanted to give the readers of this something to ponder. And with this, I say good night...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Surgery?
Well, here we all sit in Room 1022 at Northwestern Memorial Hospital with Vanessa. We, meaning Steve, Daniel, Judith, and myself. Vanessa went into surgery this morning and Steve and I remained all day long in the waiting room. After a couple of check ins with us, finally they came and got us to see our girl after they had tried to put her back together again. The doctor told us the surgery was a success!
Here, hours later, we are all being threatened with being thrown out of the hospital. It's like sitting around her table. Nothing is sacred, nothing is left to sit on the burner. This started just as soon as Vanessa's being wheeled into surgery. The party was on!
Slowly, 1 by 1, people started leaving. Finally it was just the 2 of us. And we were still having fun. Finally, my pills kicked in and I was going down for the count. But, our reining star couldn't go to sleep to save her life.
I heard, the next morning, even before my 1st cup of coffee, that around 3 am, Vanessa's wide awake and a green fog drifted into the room. She's looking around trying to figure out where it was coming from, hiding her head under her gown, and trying her best to keep down the broth they gave her for dinner.
There I was, sleeping like an angel, with my ass pointing in her direction. That's where the "silent but deadly" stench was coming from.
Poor Vanessa, trapped in her bed, hooked up to everything but the kitchen sink, unable to make a run for it. She's gasping for her life, and it wouldn't go away. The air in the room was so stagnate and not willing to move, the fog just hung like a duck in the window of a Chinese restaurant.
Vanessa gasping for air, can't find the button for the nurse, but what's she gonna say to her when she does finally come into the room. 'Get that man out of here!' They came in here this morning asking her if she had passed gas yet. Silence grabbed the room by the throat, just like it did last night.
All in all, Vanessa is on the mend. She's causing trouble like normal. This morning, she got us yelled at for leaving the floor to go outside to smoke a cigarette. Boy, that nurse was mad!
Well, Steve just walked in to relieve me for the day so I can go home and face what is there for me. Dog, cats, a messy house, Jasmine, with her 2 sons from out of town, and my new BF, John-Michael. I'll talk about him a little more in detail later on. He is the newest member to sit around Vanessa's Kitchen Table.
So, with these finally words of wisdom, I'll bid you adieu, "If it looks green and smells like shit, it probably is!"
Here, hours later, we are all being threatened with being thrown out of the hospital. It's like sitting around her table. Nothing is sacred, nothing is left to sit on the burner. This started just as soon as Vanessa's being wheeled into surgery. The party was on!
Slowly, 1 by 1, people started leaving. Finally it was just the 2 of us. And we were still having fun. Finally, my pills kicked in and I was going down for the count. But, our reining star couldn't go to sleep to save her life.
I heard, the next morning, even before my 1st cup of coffee, that around 3 am, Vanessa's wide awake and a green fog drifted into the room. She's looking around trying to figure out where it was coming from, hiding her head under her gown, and trying her best to keep down the broth they gave her for dinner.
There I was, sleeping like an angel, with my ass pointing in her direction. That's where the "silent but deadly" stench was coming from.
Poor Vanessa, trapped in her bed, hooked up to everything but the kitchen sink, unable to make a run for it. She's gasping for her life, and it wouldn't go away. The air in the room was so stagnate and not willing to move, the fog just hung like a duck in the window of a Chinese restaurant.
Vanessa gasping for air, can't find the button for the nurse, but what's she gonna say to her when she does finally come into the room. 'Get that man out of here!' They came in here this morning asking her if she had passed gas yet. Silence grabbed the room by the throat, just like it did last night.
All in all, Vanessa is on the mend. She's causing trouble like normal. This morning, she got us yelled at for leaving the floor to go outside to smoke a cigarette. Boy, that nurse was mad!
Well, Steve just walked in to relieve me for the day so I can go home and face what is there for me. Dog, cats, a messy house, Jasmine, with her 2 sons from out of town, and my new BF, John-Michael. I'll talk about him a little more in detail later on. He is the newest member to sit around Vanessa's Kitchen Table.
So, with these finally words of wisdom, I'll bid you adieu, "If it looks green and smells like shit, it probably is!"
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Cork Trees?
Who ever heard of such a thing.
When I moved up here to Chicago, I was a snob. A wine snob. By smelling the cork, I could tell you where in the world this bottle came from. Whether it was the Napa Valley, France, or even Texas, yes we made wine in Texas, I could tell. I only drank vine from a bottle with a cork in it. And sometimes when the smell of that cork didn't stand up to what I thought was acceptable, I'd send it back. Dining out with me was probably a trip! Never a screw top, or heaven forbid, a box!
Well, my 2 best friends, downstairs, Vanessa and Jasmine, have me drinking wine from a box. I was horrified at 1st, but when in Rome...This has been going on for some time now. Oh, how I miss the smell of a cork. But, as it remains, Bear drinks wine from a box. My snob friends in Dallas would be equally horrified if they knew. Now that its come to be passe' with me, I could care less what people think. But, still I yearn for that cork!
So, V and I are sitting around her table, one afternoon, I got "full" on wine, and the subject of me being a wine snob came up. I knew it would eventually. She tried to explain to me how the cork trees were being wiped out and cork was at an all time shortage, that's why they were coming in boxes now. (My memory of the conversation may be in question here, because I don't really remember leaving her house. Don't quote me! LOL) WHAT??? CORK TREES??? But, being the southern gentleman I am, I said not a word.
The guy I started talking about, a couple of days ago and said we were not dating, well today was our 3rd date. We are now dating. Yes, I said it, Daddy or Sir Bear has a boyfriend. Are ya' happy now? 'Cause I sure am. Anyway, I digress..
On our 2nd date, I found myself over at his house. He had ordered pizza before I arrived, and 15 minutes after I had walked through his front door, it was there. He left me in the kitchen to do the honors of uncorking the bottle. A beautiful bottle of red wine, California, was laid out before me with a cork screw that looked like it came over on the Mayflower. (I found out this morning, it was his grand father's. Totally acceptable!) I thought, #1, I'll never get this out of the bottle, or I will use my strength, and with all my might, not only will that cork come out, but he'll walk back into the kitchen with all of his cabinets re-painted red along with my t-shirt and jeans. What an impression that would make, huh???
Here's the time to make my impression. With one big pull, a little twist, and POP!, out it came. No pieces of cork in the bottle, the whole ball of wax came out. While patting myself on the back, he returns to the kitchen with pizza. I take one look at him, remember the story Lady V had told me, and I just couldn't help myself. I started laughing, he wanted to know why, and then the story came pouring out. We both chuckled quite a bit. Vanessa, we weren't making fun of you, but it sure was the "ice breaker" I was looking for. I was quite nervous up until that very moment.
John-Michael has got to be one of the smartest men I have ever dated. I'm a little intimidated, but why should I be, I'm no slouch myself. So, being smart and constantly thirsty for knowledge, JM sets out on a quest to find the mysterious "cork trees!" And, I'll be damned, he found them. They're in Portugal and called cork oak trees. A forest of them.
'Seems, that in the 1974 revolution in Portugal, the cork trees fell into the extreme leftist hands and the damage was quite extent. After the Portugal territory was return to its rightful owners, it took 2 harvests,16 to 20 years, to return them to their wondrous state.
To harvest, these natural wonders, you have to carefully carve the bark from the tree leaving the protective membrane in tact. This is what gives the tree its nourishment. The world record was set in 1889, by a cork oak tree in Portugal, which yielded no less than 3,870 lbs. of cork in one stripping. That's just 1 tree. Can you imagine how much cork can be had from a forest of these beauties?
So now, let's all raise our glasses to Vanessa. May it be from a box, a gallon jug, or a corked bottle, long may her cork trees wave. And, we are better because of it!
When I moved up here to Chicago, I was a snob. A wine snob. By smelling the cork, I could tell you where in the world this bottle came from. Whether it was the Napa Valley, France, or even Texas, yes we made wine in Texas, I could tell. I only drank vine from a bottle with a cork in it. And sometimes when the smell of that cork didn't stand up to what I thought was acceptable, I'd send it back. Dining out with me was probably a trip! Never a screw top, or heaven forbid, a box!
Well, my 2 best friends, downstairs, Vanessa and Jasmine, have me drinking wine from a box. I was horrified at 1st, but when in Rome...This has been going on for some time now. Oh, how I miss the smell of a cork. But, as it remains, Bear drinks wine from a box. My snob friends in Dallas would be equally horrified if they knew. Now that its come to be passe' with me, I could care less what people think. But, still I yearn for that cork!
So, V and I are sitting around her table, one afternoon, I got "full" on wine, and the subject of me being a wine snob came up. I knew it would eventually. She tried to explain to me how the cork trees were being wiped out and cork was at an all time shortage, that's why they were coming in boxes now. (My memory of the conversation may be in question here, because I don't really remember leaving her house. Don't quote me! LOL) WHAT??? CORK TREES??? But, being the southern gentleman I am, I said not a word.
The guy I started talking about, a couple of days ago and said we were not dating, well today was our 3rd date. We are now dating. Yes, I said it, Daddy or Sir Bear has a boyfriend. Are ya' happy now? 'Cause I sure am. Anyway, I digress..
On our 2nd date, I found myself over at his house. He had ordered pizza before I arrived, and 15 minutes after I had walked through his front door, it was there. He left me in the kitchen to do the honors of uncorking the bottle. A beautiful bottle of red wine, California, was laid out before me with a cork screw that looked like it came over on the Mayflower. (I found out this morning, it was his grand father's. Totally acceptable!) I thought, #1, I'll never get this out of the bottle, or I will use my strength, and with all my might, not only will that cork come out, but he'll walk back into the kitchen with all of his cabinets re-painted red along with my t-shirt and jeans. What an impression that would make, huh???
Here's the time to make my impression. With one big pull, a little twist, and POP!, out it came. No pieces of cork in the bottle, the whole ball of wax came out. While patting myself on the back, he returns to the kitchen with pizza. I take one look at him, remember the story Lady V had told me, and I just couldn't help myself. I started laughing, he wanted to know why, and then the story came pouring out. We both chuckled quite a bit. Vanessa, we weren't making fun of you, but it sure was the "ice breaker" I was looking for. I was quite nervous up until that very moment.
John-Michael has got to be one of the smartest men I have ever dated. I'm a little intimidated, but why should I be, I'm no slouch myself. So, being smart and constantly thirsty for knowledge, JM sets out on a quest to find the mysterious "cork trees!" And, I'll be damned, he found them. They're in Portugal and called cork oak trees. A forest of them.
'Seems, that in the 1974 revolution in Portugal, the cork trees fell into the extreme leftist hands and the damage was quite extent. After the Portugal territory was return to its rightful owners, it took 2 harvests,16 to 20 years, to return them to their wondrous state.
To harvest, these natural wonders, you have to carefully carve the bark from the tree leaving the protective membrane in tact. This is what gives the tree its nourishment. The world record was set in 1889, by a cork oak tree in Portugal, which yielded no less than 3,870 lbs. of cork in one stripping. That's just 1 tree. Can you imagine how much cork can be had from a forest of these beauties?
So now, let's all raise our glasses to Vanessa. May it be from a box, a gallon jug, or a corked bottle, long may her cork trees wave. And, we are better because of it!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Summer Moved On
I was standing on our back deck, yesterday, watching the rain pour down, all day long. It was a cold rain at that. I also noticed that the leaves of the vine growing up the side of the building next door was starting to turn colors. I was depressed at the sight. Usually, I love this time of year. But, sadly, this time I'm not looking forward to it. Maybe it was because this past winter was so brutal and lasted so long. Maybe it's that I'm not smoking. Just maybe. But, this morose feeling fell on top of me like a bloulder. I should be whistling, seeing that I started dating someone new. Well, I wouldn't say dating. We've seen each other twice. I wouldn't call that dating, yet. But, I sure am interested in him. So, why the sad feeling. This is what it was like...
Summer moved on, and the way it goes, you can't tag along.
My soul moved out and the way it went, leaves no doubt.
Moments will pass in the morning light.
I found out, Seasons drift past, and there's just one thing left to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away and leave me another day.
Day, just like today, with nobody else around.
Friendships move on until the day you can't get along.
Had a change on the phone, and the way it goes no one knows.
Moments will pass in the morning light.
I found out, Seasons can't last.
So, there's just one thing left to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around!
A morning walked on the beach,
Busy with dogs driven to chase.
Now, a north wind blows in its place.
Seasons can't last, so there's just one thing to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away, and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around.
My soul not to be heard from again until the day.
Day that the breeze is wam and the trees obey.
Until that day, one thing left to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away, and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around!
Seasons can't last and there's just one thing ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away, and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around.
Summer moved on!
AhHa/Bear
Summer moved on, and the way it goes, you can't tag along.
My soul moved out and the way it went, leaves no doubt.
Moments will pass in the morning light.
I found out, Seasons drift past, and there's just one thing left to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away and leave me another day.
Day, just like today, with nobody else around.
Friendships move on until the day you can't get along.
Had a change on the phone, and the way it goes no one knows.
Moments will pass in the morning light.
I found out, Seasons can't last.
So, there's just one thing left to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around!
A morning walked on the beach,
Busy with dogs driven to chase.
Now, a north wind blows in its place.
Seasons can't last, so there's just one thing to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away, and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around.
My soul not to be heard from again until the day.
Day that the breeze is wam and the trees obey.
Until that day, one thing left to ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away, and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around!
Seasons can't last and there's just one thing ask...
Stay? Don't just walk away, and leave me another day.
Day just like today.
Stay? Don't just walk away, with nobody else around.
Summer moved on!
AhHa/Bear
Monday, September 1, 2008
HIV and WALAMELON?
Here's something to chew on. Around Vanessa's table, there's always food to eat. Just about anything you want, you can get. If your hungry, go to Vanessa's house where she's always ready to feed your face until you just about pop!
It's no secret to anyone, because I always "out" it, I have HIV. My mom freaked out when she saw that my 4 month old niece was sucking on my finger. We, who are educated, know that you can't catch it that that way. Nothing against my mom, she just did not know any better! Hopefully she's done some research on her computer, instead of just goofing off. But, again, I love it when she goofs off! I usually get a laugh out of it!
Well, around the "table," as I said, there's food, something to drink, and oh, did I mention food? We eat after each other. We use one another's eating utensils. My point is, people eat after me, eat with my fork, drink out of my glass, and not a soul is worried about catching HIV. They know better. Most of them are in the health care profession, and they know. It used to freak me out, but now it makes me feel warm inside. These people are my family and they know I wouldn't do anything that would put their lives in danger. It seems like this weekend, we've done nothing but eat! But I digress...
Vanessa was on the bus a couple of days ago and, I assume, 3 woman of colour got onto the bus after her. The youngest was a little girl. She was being taught how a young lady crosses her legs avoiding having people looking up her dress. Well, this little child was worried that he "walamelon," as she called it, would get loose. And it did, slamming to the front of the bus.
Okay, Vanessa is a woman of colour too. She, like the rest of the well educated world, can not stand the way people talk in their slang. White people that that talk like trailer trash makes me cringe. But I have a lot of black friends, educated black friends, and when they hear their own race speak in, what they call, "getto slang," it just goes right thru them. Vanessa's not alone in this feeling.
She's telling the "table" about her experience on the bus with the watermelon! We were laughing so hard, I peed on myself, Jasmine was crying, and Vanessa was disgusted. I swear, some of the things we talk about, will curl your hair. You must be thick skinned around us because your feelings will get hurt! I pray I haven't hurt her in writing this, but it was just too funny! We're still talking about it, and its still freaking funny! To hear Vanessa going on and on about a loose "walamelon" on the bus, my Goddess, I'm crying now!
It's no secret to anyone, because I always "out" it, I have HIV. My mom freaked out when she saw that my 4 month old niece was sucking on my finger. We, who are educated, know that you can't catch it that that way. Nothing against my mom, she just did not know any better! Hopefully she's done some research on her computer, instead of just goofing off. But, again, I love it when she goofs off! I usually get a laugh out of it!
Well, around the "table," as I said, there's food, something to drink, and oh, did I mention food? We eat after each other. We use one another's eating utensils. My point is, people eat after me, eat with my fork, drink out of my glass, and not a soul is worried about catching HIV. They know better. Most of them are in the health care profession, and they know. It used to freak me out, but now it makes me feel warm inside. These people are my family and they know I wouldn't do anything that would put their lives in danger. It seems like this weekend, we've done nothing but eat! But I digress...
Vanessa was on the bus a couple of days ago and, I assume, 3 woman of colour got onto the bus after her. The youngest was a little girl. She was being taught how a young lady crosses her legs avoiding having people looking up her dress. Well, this little child was worried that he "walamelon," as she called it, would get loose. And it did, slamming to the front of the bus.
Okay, Vanessa is a woman of colour too. She, like the rest of the well educated world, can not stand the way people talk in their slang. White people that that talk like trailer trash makes me cringe. But I have a lot of black friends, educated black friends, and when they hear their own race speak in, what they call, "getto slang," it just goes right thru them. Vanessa's not alone in this feeling.
She's telling the "table" about her experience on the bus with the watermelon! We were laughing so hard, I peed on myself, Jasmine was crying, and Vanessa was disgusted. I swear, some of the things we talk about, will curl your hair. You must be thick skinned around us because your feelings will get hurt! I pray I haven't hurt her in writing this, but it was just too funny! We're still talking about it, and its still freaking funny! To hear Vanessa going on and on about a loose "walamelon" on the bus, my Goddess, I'm crying now!
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