August 17, 2008

My name is Bear. I'm 47 years old, gay, and I live in the magical city of Chicago. I moved up here a year ago from Dallas, Texas, with my dog Harley, 3 cats, my ex-partner Ron, and HIV! Being Southern, I was raised with Southern manners and Southern values. Quite different from this place in which I live. I also speak with a Southern accent which a lot of people love. And, having HIV, you can imagine what a roller coaster ride my life must be!

I live in Rogers Park, 1 block east of the Redline, otherwise known as the EL, and a block east of me is Lake Michigan. I have never seen a lake like this before. It's like looking at the ocean. The only thing missing is the smell of salt in the air, and seashells scattered on the shore.

The building in which I live, contains an eclectic group of characters! It seemed like a weekend didn't pass when there wasn't a party, in which I was never invited to, going on, on the 1st floor. Despite feeling left out of the loop, I struck out on my way. I quickly became part of the "Breakfast Club." Members of my complex and neighboring complexes meet every morning to wake up, downstairs at the coffee shop Ennui, to shoot the breeze with 1 another.

Then, I started volunteering, shortly upon my arrival, at a wonderful place called Test Positive Aware Network. TPAN. Throughout the months, I became certified in HIV Testing and HIV Prevention Counseling and Partner Counseling. Still, the parties continued downstairs. Thanksgiving came...

Ron and I, in Dallas, would open up our home and invite everyone we knew, that didn't have a place to go, for dinner, in which I cooked. We decided to do the same thing as soon as we moved up here to Chicago. Mass emails, at work and throughout the friends we had already met, were sent out, inviting them to our "shindig." Only 1 person showed up. Her name is Jasmine, and she lives on the 1st floor. We had a ball, just the 3 of us. Jasmine later had both feet operated on, in 2 separate surgeries. The last time I picked her up from the hospital. We bonded instantly. I love this woman like a sister! With knowing her, I was quickly introduced to the "party lady," Vanessa, which now I love her, too! Since the introduction to both ladies, Ron and I are on the "party list!" Vanessa has thrown several barbecues in which Ron and I have been invited. Finally, I made it to the parties!

Both women are absolutely crazy. Crazy in a good way. We are constantly laughing. So hard sometimes our sides almost split! Looking at us and listening to us, you'd think we were related. Jasmine is from Long Island, New York, and Vanessa, Joliet, Illinois, and I from Dallas. What makes us different, besides the geography from which we came, is our gender and the color of our skin. Trust me, none of these differences is an issue with us!

Since these 2 women and I bonded, just about every day, 1 of us, both of us, or a herd of other people are gathered around Vanessa's kitchen table. This special place is where you go to laugh, solve the problems of the world, cry, play games, or just chill and hangout! It feels like going home. In the past few months of this summer, a lot of things have happened around this table, with many more to come.

This is the beginning of the tale of Vanessa's Kitchen Table! Now you have a little bit of back ground on the cast of characters that pass through her door and sit around her table. Others, like Judith, Art, his partner Raymond, Steve, Chris, my dog Harley, and a host of others will be described later.